I talked to M about it and got some helpful support. I've been getting as much as I can ready the night before - setting up the coffee pot and starting to pack my lunch. I've practiced more moderation with the novels. Also, I signed up for SparkPeople, which I've been recommending to my patients for a while. I have always had good success when I track my diet and exercise. Entering the stuff in motivates me to make healthier choices, and at the end of the day I can see if I have wiggle room for a treat or not. This really helps me avoid the mindless eating.
This site is crazy! There are so many resources. I'm focusing on just a few. I've been doing a great job with the water, probably enough that I gained a couple pounds in the first week as my body rehydrated. Also, I've been tracking my hours of sleep, which helps me go to bed a little earlier. I have even been getting up at 5am some days to exercise. Usually yoga, sometimes a little Dance Dance Revolution action!
I feel great when I exercise! But there are really a lot of barriers. If one or both kids wakes up at 4:45, I really do not want to spend any effort getting them back to sleep just to wake up myself 15 min later, so I tend to bring them to our bed just so I can spend some time horizontal. Really hard to get up for the alarm when there is a sweet cuddly body next to me - also hard if it is a squirmy kicking body. Is there any data on restless leg syndrome in toddlers? On the days when I do get up at 5, there is a good chance that little guy will wake up at 5:30. I have no idea how long I'll get for my workout, so the 60 minute Pilates video has been right out.
It seems crazy that I have to get up at 5:00 when I don't have to be at work until 9:00. But these mornings are NOT easy. M leaves by 6 to beat the traffic into the city so I am on my own. This is an area where two is harder than the sum of one plus one. W used to be pretty easy - he was pretty passive during changes, and he'd stay where I put him while I struggled with T through getting dressed and using the potty. Now W is in a phase of active resistance. On the changing table he squirms, rolls over, tries to grab everything else and throw it on the floor - we've had some close calls with the lamp. Also tries to shimmy off the table into the clothes hamper. I think his thoughts have far surpassed the signs and words he has for communication, so when he wants something and can't express it he goes right into back arching and boneless tantrums, usually bonking his skull on something or other, often lying on the floor and screeching. So I have one doing these shenanigans, while the almost 4 year old still needs adult supervision to keep him goal-oriented all morning long. I try to give him some time to redirect by counting - if we get to 10 he has to spend a little time in
-Time to take off your jammies.
-But Mom, I'm just doing this.
-You can do that after you get dressed - 1, 2, 3 ...
-Mom! listen to my words!
- 4, 5, 6 ...
-But Mom I have to tell you something!
- 7, 8 ...
- OKAY!!
I do often listen to his words - but around the third time he delays the task with some random idea I really start to lose patience. The books say that if they get undivided attention for 15 or so minutes a day, they will cooperate better all the other time. I don't know. This kid gets a lot of attention and still wants more - wants to be 100% observed every time he taps the balloon with his hand, puts two Legos together, or swings up on his swing. And as awful as it may be, it is wearing on me. I want so much just to have some alone time to knit, read, or weed completely uninterrupted. It feels like an internal drive to do something other than watch my children, somehow, which may be normal but sometimes feels kind of scary.
And now I have just spent 30 minutes on this stream of consciousness, when I could have been knitting, or getting ready for bed, or packing my lunch for tomorrow.
